Expectations

I'm not freakishly ridged about much of anything. I tend to be and try to be pretty laid back (at least I think so), but with Sophie I believe she needs a schedule. I know there is plenty of debate about whether schedules are good are bad, but BJ and I decided even before we brought her home, that giving Sophie a routine would help provide some stability and security in her new life. We also thought that having a predictable schedule would give her some consistency (and comfort) when we traveled and of course when we moved (at the time we had no idea we'd be moving so soon).

So throughout our packing, traveling and getting settled we did our best to keep Sophie on her schedule. Like I said before I'm not really ridged about it, we will move her naps a little here and there and if we need to even skip one, but most days we keep to the schedule. Well at least we tried.

For the first few weeks while BJ was in training, Sophie was fairly consistent. The weekend BJ was home all trace of a schedule was out the window (and rightfully so) so BJ could spend as much time as possible with his daughter before he left.

It's now been two weeks since BJ was here and it seems that Sophie is getting further and further away from a schedule! For a few days she slept until almost 9a! But then she was up before 6a and the last few days have been around 7ish. So some days she needs 2 naps, sometimes 1, she always seems a little tired and she's been a bit fussy.

I'm feeling a bit weary. Its not that Sophie isn't on a schedule so much, as it is that there are so many friends and family that want to see us and its impossible to plan anything when I don't know from one day to the other when she'll need a nap (and I refuse to push her to meltdown). I feel like I'm constantly having to explain that I don't know if we can make it, or that we can't stay long, or that though she seems just fine she is still adjusting to having her life turned upside down for the 2nd time in 6 months. I want to see and spend time with our family but right now its more important to me to get Sophie settled it.

On top of that I miss BJ. I miss him so much that I'm pretty sure if it weren't for Sophie I'd still be in bed. That might sound pathetic but I love my husband, and though I know we'll be fine and that we are hardly the only family that has been separated for a year but being apart sucks!

All that said, my daughter is joy and light and I am so crazy in love with her.

Throwing like a Girl

Sophie just learned a new skill. She can now throw a ball...backwards

Playing Outdoor

In DC our Town House look out at another Town House and through there was a park within walking distance and lots of green space throughout our community there is nothing like have a beautiful green back yard to roll around in (especially when you don't have to mow). Sophie and I have enjoyed some outdoor play time everyday since we've been here, Grandpa even put up a swing just for her.

A Reason to Smile

Daddy left on Sunday. It has been such a crazy roller coaster the last few weeks that I can hardly keep it straight in my own mind. We loaded all our stuff, we moved half way across the country, got settled into the BJ's parents home, BJ left for 2 weeks training in New Jersey. While he was at training the date for his departure changed about a dozen time, then finally on Wednesday afternoon he was told that he could leave NJ right after graduation on May 26 (one day early) but that he would be leaving for Iraq on the 30th. After quite an ordeal getting him home Thursday night (Sophie ended up being up till 1 am), he got a call Friday morning letting him know that once again things had changed and now he would be leaving Sunday the 29th, grrrrr.

So Saturday night we drove with BJ's parents to Chicago stayed over night and put him on a plane around 9 am. Of course the 365 day deployment didn't start till he landed in Kuwait the next day.

Lets face it there is nothing good about a deployment. I love my husband, and I actually really like him too. We are good together and now with Sophie we are even better. But the reality is BJ is in the Air Force and deployments are part of the deal. We have chosen not to complain (too much) but to try to focus on the blessings. So here's a short list of what we are thankful for...

-it's only 365 days. Without permission from the Sec Def (or congress or someone one super important and unlikely to give it) troops cannot be in country for more then 365 days.

-we were given 3 months warning. We actually know one family who got 2 weeks and another guy who got 48 hours! We had time to enjoy each other, plan what we were gonna do and BJ was around to help get Sophie and I settled.

-Facebook! Thanks to FB, BJ has already been able to send me messages, let me know he's okay and where he is. It will also be great for him to see pictures of Sophie and I and what all we are up to.

-Skype!!! Seriously it is awesome to be able to see his face and it is so good for Sophie. Being able to see and talk to daddy will keep him present in her life and keep their bond strong. Once he is settled in Baghdad, he can get Internet in his trailer and we will be able to Skype more often, but even now he can go to an "Internet cafe" on base and he and 1000 of his new closest friends can skype with their families.

-Family. Sophie and I are completely surrounded by family and its awesome. We are living downstairs from BJ's parents, mine are in town, and all our siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins are within a few miles. That might sound a little scary but the truth is its wonderful, and we are so excited that Sophie will get to know her family and they get to get to know her. Without this deployment our family would only see her about every 6 months until BJ retired, know they can see her all the time.

-That though we might now understand all the "whys" at this moment we know that this too is part of God's plan. We waited (and struggled) for 13 years to have a family and Sophie is more then we could ever had imagined, worth every moment. She is a constant reminder that God is good and He always overwhelmingly blesses the faithful. So we are choosing to be faithful.

- Finally Sophie! She's the best blessing and though it is so hard for BJ to be away from her, its impossible to not smile when she's around even if its via skype. She will give us both reasons to be joyful over the year.

Of course we are so appreciative of your continued prayers : )

6 Months!

I'm sure I say this every months, but seriously time flies!

6 months ago BJ and I were waiting outside a conference room watching as babies were being handed to our new friends, waiting to hear our name and hold our little girl. It was such a surreal moment. Sophia was just about 10 months old then and she could barely sit up for more then a few seconds. She hadn't been able to roll over or crawl, but she was happy! When they handed Sophia to us she was soaking wet and starving so of course she was angry and crying but once we were able to meet her needs she quickly became happy. She has been happy ever since.

I prayed for so many things in the years I waited to be a mommy. People laughed when I said I was praying for a good sleeper (I really value my sleep), that she'd be a good eater. I prayed that she would be smart and beautiful (inside more than out). I prayed that she would adjust well to our lifestyle and that she would have a healthy sense of identity as she grows up. God has so far graciously answered all my prayer (there are millions more and new prayers everyday) but the one that right now I am most thankful for is that my daughter has joy.

It just seems to radiate from inside her. She is almost always smiling and certainly always happy to smile at someone. She seems to know that when she smiles it makes other people smile. She will wave and shout at totally strangers to get their attention so she can smile at them. If she knows that something will make you laugh she will go out of her way to do it. She dances for me all the time just to see me giggle with her. She is delightful and its contagious.

Joy is a gift. Happiness has to do with circumstance and when circumstances change happiness turns to sadness or worse. But joy is an attitude. It is something that transcends what is going on and lifts you when life would have you sink. You can have joy even in the midst of tears.

My prayer has always been that Sophie would be joyful. That as she grows she would maintain that joy. I know there will be time when we will have to have tough conversations, life will cause her pain from time to time, and no matter how much I'd like to pretend that I can protect her from everything, I know that there are tears and fears ahead, but I pray that the joy that seems to well up from deep within her will always be there.

All Packed Up

Well the truck is loaded! It's been such a long day and we are so thankful to the wonderful friends that were most of the day either helping load, helping clean or entertaining Sophie so I could work.

It was a long, busy day and worst of all I spent very little time with Sophie. My sweet friends kept so so entertained that I was able to get tons done but at the end of the day I miss her and will have to snoodle her just that much more tomorrow.

After the packing, BJ had to run off to the airport to pick up some friends. We actually have the kind of friends that call you the day before you move and ask you to come get them from the airport. Why are they in town, they literally flew here to drive OUR Uhaul back so BJ, Sophie and I could ride together!

BJ and I have been blessed with some of the greatest friends anyone could ever ask for and we are both overwhelmed and so grateful for such great love!

As much as we have hated leaving every place we have lived we are so thankful, that means we had good friends and a good life in that place.

Leaving DC sucks (especially for a deployment) but there's a good chance will be back, if not next summer, then in a few years. DC is mecca to the intel community so odds are always good we'll be back...not bad for someone who really didn't want to come here.

Our Last Day With Our DC Church Family

Over the years BJ and I have discovered the importance of finding a church home as quickly as possible each time we move. It isn't about crossing Ts or dotting Is. Its not about tradition or even religion. We find a church because when we are so far from home God uses His church to give us family.
We first discovered this in Rapid City, SD and still treasure many of the people that became family to us while we were there. Each time we've moved since, God has graciously provided a church family to be our local support, friends, accountability, and encouragement. The Church gives us roots, love, guidance, and increases our faith.
When we arrived in DC we expected to be here for at least 2 but hopefully 3 years. Though we felt we had time, we also felt an urgency to find our church home. It took a few weeks but the day we walked into Portico Arlington we knew God had once again given us deep relationships and a source of strength.
We joined a wonderful small group the second week and attended the membership classes as soon as we could.
We'd only been attending a few weeks when we got our referral. After so many years and so many churches new friends were the first to see our daughter's face, and in God's perfect mercy they were as excited as any of our old and dear friends could have been. As we shared our good news with our new small group tears welled in the eyes of our new friends and love and excitement filled their hearts and truly overwhelmed us.
As we left for China, our church family bathed us in prayer and rejoiced with glad hearts our 1st Sunday home with our new daughter.
A few years back BJ and I had decided that when Sophie came home we would take her to our church in Las Vegas to be dedicated. Canyon Ridge was our family when we began the adoption. They were the family that laughed with us, prayed with us over all the paperwork, and cried with us when the waiting became unbearable.
When Sophie came home we began to make arrangements to have her dedicated this June, but when we found out about BJ's deployment it became clear that we would have to change our plans.
So this morning, our last day with this family that has been so wonderful to us, we had Sophie dedicated. It was sweet and sad, but as the congregation proclaimed that they would continue to support us, and hold us accountable to raising Sophie, it was like God cemented our relationship with this family.
We knew that this was going to be the place that God brought Sophia home too and we could see how He was laying the ground work for us to have the support, love and prayers that we would need. What we didn't know was that our time with this family would be so short.
We are so thankful for Portico Arlington, our small group and several very special people that have touched our lives. God has blessed us richly and our prayer is that we will come back some day, until then we thank God for social networking : )