I'm not freakishly ridged about much of anything. I tend to be and try to be pretty laid back (at least I think so), but with Sophie I believe she needs a schedule. I know there is plenty of debate about whether schedules are good are bad, but BJ and I decided even before we brought her home, that giving Sophie a routine would help provide some stability and security in her new life. We also thought that having a predictable schedule would give her some consistency (and comfort) when we traveled and of course when we moved (at the time we had no idea we'd be moving so soon).
So throughout our packing, traveling and getting settled we did our best to keep Sophie on her schedule. Like I said before I'm not really ridged about it, we will move her naps a little here and there and if we need to even skip one, but most days we keep to the schedule. Well at least we tried.
For the first few weeks while BJ was in training, Sophie was fairly consistent. The weekend BJ was home all trace of a schedule was out the window (and rightfully so) so BJ could spend as much time as possible with his daughter before he left.
It's now been two weeks since BJ was here and it seems that Sophie is getting further and further away from a schedule! For a few days she slept until almost 9a! But then she was up before 6a and the last few days have been around 7ish. So some days she needs 2 naps, sometimes 1, she always seems a little tired and she's been a bit fussy.
I'm feeling a bit weary. Its not that Sophie isn't on a schedule so much, as it is that there are so many friends and family that want to see us and its impossible to plan anything when I don't know from one day to the other when she'll need a nap (and I refuse to push her to meltdown). I feel like I'm constantly having to explain that I don't know if we can make it, or that we can't stay long, or that though she seems just fine she is still adjusting to having her life turned upside down for the 2nd time in 6 months. I want to see and spend time with our family but right now its more important to me to get Sophie settled it.
On top of that I miss BJ. I miss him so much that I'm pretty sure if it weren't for Sophie I'd still be in bed. That might sound pathetic but I love my husband, and though I know we'll be fine and that we are hardly the only family that has been separated for a year but being apart sucks!
All that said, my daughter is joy and light and I am so crazy in love with her.
I feel for you on the unknown schedule thing. That's there where I was with Madison kind of permanently. Chances are due to the fact that we moved so often when she was little AND Matt left (and we moved again) when she was 15 months old. It's hard for little ones when the people in their lives keep changing. You are her constant though! This will lead to an incredible relationship between the two of you as she grows into the more difficult years. It's hard now, but at least you have hope of better times later on. Keep in mind that little ones are far more resilient than we give them credit for. They are survivors by nature. Your unease and uncertainty will be what you are most likely to see reflected in her. So, take some acting classes, and put on that confident, mom's in charge act even when you least feel it. Pray hard. Don't be afraid to be honest when it's too hard to act happy: "I'm sad today because I miss Daddy. Let's do something for him to help me feel happy again." Then, color pictures, make cards with her traced hand, take pictures, or whatever that can be sent to BJ to help you both feel closer to him. (Just make sure to not say "You make me happy," as that can build a lot of pressure on little ones to be responsible for your happiness. People don't MAKE us happy, we find joy in them. :)
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