Bittersweet

One year ago I had no idea that my daughter was being born, but I am thankful beyond words that God did. I might not have been there but He was. In fact He's been with my daughter everyday since her conception.
Psalm 139 says

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

God stitched every cell of my daughter together and the whole time He knew that circumstance would bring her to my arms. He created her to be my daughter.

Sadly that meant that the womb that grew and nourished my precious child would not be the arms that would hold her.

It's hard for me not to think about the woman who one year ago was feeling the pain of birthing a child she would not keep, but would be bring me such joy.

I have no idea what the actual circumstances were surrounding Sophie's birth. Maybe her parents already had a child (one child policy in China), maybe they were hoping for a boy, maybe they were just so poor they knew they couldn't take care of her.

What ever the circumstance, two things I know are true, they didn't have to have her at all, and they didn't have to place her somewhere she would be found quickly and be well taken care of. I choose to believe that they loved Sophie enough to want a life and a future for her.

I will probably never meet Sophie's biological parents, but I pray for them constantly and I love them dearly. God is in the business of making beauty from ashes and I believe that is what He has done for Sophie, and I pray that He will do the same for her Chinese parents.

So today is bittersweet, I am thankful beyond words for my precious little girl. She is joy wrapped in a giggle and a smile. I am also keenly aware that my joy grew from someone else's pain (including my daughter's).

So while tomorrow will be cupcakes and presents, today I honor Sophie's biological parents.